I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
