okay pat passed out under dana's car
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
