Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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