Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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