can u get pink eye on your cock?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
ok first of all what the fuck
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
