He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
