Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
