Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
