you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
