I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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