I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize