The maid of honor just puked.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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