well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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