didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
