you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
