fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
