my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I believe in your delicious
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
