if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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