Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Randomize
