So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dignity is for republicans.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize