The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
