one might say we're banned from that church
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
