is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
