To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wanna passion pit in your ass
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
me + whiskey = a bad person
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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