so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
