mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
