Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
