Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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