Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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