we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
