Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
