i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
