She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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