my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
