so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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