why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Randomize
