doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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