when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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