Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize