Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
