"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I seem to have left my pride at pride
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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