Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
