Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
