He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
