that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize