Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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