then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
