Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
