new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize