Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Green mimosas i think yes
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
