I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
