The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
