He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
