Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
