Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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