I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
