I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
