they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
