I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
