I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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