If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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