That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
