Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
my liver is dry heaving
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
