the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Too much gin, very little bucket
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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