the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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