Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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